Mr. Viking

What About Pedophiles? - Awesome!

mr_viking — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 01:03:29 +0000

Whenever I get on the bus, I always ask the driver: “Do you allow homophobes on the bus?” No matter what the driver answers I always reply: “Ok good” and then I go sit down.

Kids: This Is A Response When Your Parents Say “Put On A Sweater”

mr_viking — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 01:22:07 +0000

If you want to warm up your home really quickly, all you need to do is glue the “door-closed” detectors in your microwave and then turn it on for 20 or so minutes!

Chewie Probably Gave His College Buddies Some Reverse Shorts

mr_viking — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:07:01 +0000

At wookiee parties, do the first ones to pass out get shaved?

They’re Usually In The Bathroom

mr_viking — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 13:33:27 +0000

Whenever I go to an art gallery I like to ask if they have any original Anne Geddes’.

Also I Cut My Brake Lights

mr_viking — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:03:59 +0000

I got a bumper sticker that reads: “If you’re close enough to read this then you’re probably using the fuel-saving technique called ‘Drafting’. I understand this and I am not upset.”

I Panicked. I Thought He Was A Ghost

mr_viking — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:57:27 +0000

Wheelchairs on the road at night are creepy.

Shiny Though

mr_viking — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:53:29 +0000

Hand made bicycles made of tinfoil are absolutely useless.

I Suppose The Jump From Ant To Human Is Kind Of Big

mr_viking — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 22:58:37 +0000

It’s pretty hard to get a portfolio started as a freelance cremator.

My First-Born’s Middle Name Will Be Nazi-Hunter

mr_viking — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 22:00:03 +0000

I can’t wait to have kids so that I can live all my incredibly epic dreams through them.

I Always Have Some Wood On Me In Case Of Emergencies

mr_viking — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 19:29:36 +0000

When I go to get a blood test I always make sure to bring a piece of wood to bite down on and I tell the doctor/nurse that I’m really brave and that I don’t want to be put under.