Except In Bed

I would be a great writer for the fortune cookie industry. I have some ideas already:

  • Your self-esteem could probably be a little higher.
  • If you are on a first date right now, it is probably too early to start thinking about a goodnight kiss.
  •  Everyone you show/read this fortune to, will get one of the following: HIV, Cancer, Leprosy, Rabies.
  • Laugh at this fortune, then eat it and you will get good luck for one year.
  • Help! I’m imprisoned in the kitchen of where you bought this food from.
  • I know your secret. Put $1,000 in the mailbox at 938 Pine St. if you want me to keep quiet.

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3 Responses to “Except In Bed”

  1. Holden, on May 24th, 2008 at 8:15 pm Said:

    Talk of fortune cookies will forever remind me of this quaint little stunt:

    http://www.zug.com/gab/index.cgi?func=view_thread&thread_id=34055

  2. Jake, on May 25th, 2008 at 1:52 pm Said:

    Definitely got the fortune cookie idea from xkcd.

  3. Patrick, on May 31st, 2008 at 12:26 am Said:

    Without clicking on the link, Im assuming it’s like that guy that poisoned a bunch of people with aspirin…or tylenol. Whatever, brand names matter as much as fortune cookie predictions
    Either way, he’s the lamest serial killer ever, what’s the point without watching

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