With all this talk about reducing our reliance on oil, and creating new forms of energy for our vehicles, I think a major option has been overlooked: horses.

As far as I know, horses require ZERO oil in order to transport humans from point A to point B. They just need oats and the grass that is sitting at the side of your driveway waiting to go to the garbage dump. Oh, and don’t worry about drinking and driving! Horses are really good at avoiding head on collisions. They can even be trained to stop at crosswalks if there’s a little child waiting on one side.

One issue with horses is that they can only fit one person. Easy solution: get another horse and strap on a chariot. You could put a big T.V. in there and look like royalty (or a pimp).

Another issue is that horses aren’t great in the winter. This is a valid concern. I think we should be focusing our scientists on creating a horse/muskox hybrid instead of new forms of energy.

The fact that we don’t ride horses anymore is just one of the many examples of how the oil industry controls us. Join me in the revolution: buy a horse.