They say that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I’ve always found that writing with blood causes more of an impact and swords are great for releasing blood.

Here’s a short story that I wrote while I was not updating the blog. I’d appreciate any criticisms.

 The Great Sleepover

Heart worms are the easiest pet to care for.

I didn’t think that I was ready to have children until I found out that Paul Smith designs baby clothes.

I find it odd that I will go back to bed beacuse I feel the need to bring closure to my dream of trying to find my gameboy’s A/C adapter so that I can pause my game all day while I’m at work.

When I see a caucasian with a Chinese accent, I can’t help but think that they’re just being racist.

Africa should invest in a machine that turns people with HIV/AIDS into fresh water.

I often wonder how many LOLcats are actually dead and their owners have just put them in funny positions.

I sometimes send close friends and family emails that are delayed by one year. If I die within the year then “Hey what’s up? I feel like I’ve been asleep for weeks! Anything new?” is going to freak them out.

A good way of testing if someone trusts you is to ask them to smell your fingers.